


Lily Whats-the-Middle-Name Evans

by anawfulybigadventure



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Detention, Gen, Marauders' Era, Mentioned Mental Health Issues, Multi, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-01-17 19:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12372039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anawfulybigadventure/pseuds/anawfulybigadventure
Summary: Marauders, their pranks and detentions.Oh, and Lily Evans' middle name.





	1. Waterlily

Third Year, January

James would never admit that it was his idea to change the colour of the squid from black-brownish-gray-who-even-cares-boring-to-death onto the **✮✮✮sparkling pink✮✮✮**

But _somebody_ forced Moony to go through the library and find the proper spell, and then _somebody_ had to row to the middle of the lake.

 _Of course,_ not alone! It was the middle of the night, and there is nothing, **nothing(!)** shameful in the fact that somebody with good ideas was afraid of the dark. 

****

And **that** is not the only reason - somebody with good ideas is a ✮good friend✮ and would never allow his (or **her** , Sirius!) friends not to participate in something that would include the beastiest beast.

****

And, by the way, squid apparently is friendly and _cool_ , and not like... _beasty_. 

****

So then that somebody had to use the spell on that friendly and cool squid. Yes, then that somebody had to let Sirius use the spell, when somebody missed. And it wasn’t the fault of that genius, it was just Peter who wouldn’t be able to hold the bloody (pardon my french, professor) boat balanced, so I had- ehm, khm… so **somebody** had to give the opportunity to another while **somebody** had to shake Remus so that he would accio the wand. Yes, it is entirely possible that Remus would be able to accio it faster, if somebody wasn’t shaking him, but the night was dark, and they all were agitated. 

****

And when the morning came, and every single student in Hogwarts was discussing the squid that swam across the lake, not like usually - unnoticed, but bright and pink and sparkling, and ✮✮✮great!✮✮✮, James did bow a few times when he noticed that students were pointing at him when they were talking. It did not mean that he was admitting that he was responsible in **any** way for the new colour of the squid. James just liked greeting people with bows when he didn’t know them.

****

_Oh, God, Sirius, he started liking it recently, please shut up!_

****

That was what he told Mcgonagall when she called them to explain the colour of the squid, and he was sure that if _Sirius_ ( you hear that? he called to Padfoot) hadn’t interrupted, he wouldn’t get detention. Because he had to tell Sirius to shut up. And then - **BAM!** \- they got detention.

****

It all was Sirius’ fault, James told to Peter when they walked to Hagrid’s for a detention after the classes.

****

Sirius was acting like he was too cool to listen to James, walking in front of him and Peter with Remus, and discussing something that was surely boring-

****

Oh!

****

“♡Lily Evans♡ invited the two of you to her birthday party?” - James was not pouting, was not jealous, didn’t feel like he was going to rip his best friends heads off **AT ALL**.

****

“Where is going to be, who else is invited, who else is not invited (I AM NOT JEALOUS! just think, Remus, just think of poor Peter here. **PETER!** come here. No one invites Peter to the birthday parties, right, Peter?), when were you two invited, did she say anything about invitation for me? (and Peter!)” - James hugged poor Peter, feeling suddenly sad for his little friend. He wasn’t even invited to the birthday party!

****

“I’m sure she is going to invite you too, James,” - said Remus.

****

“And Peter too,” - mumbled James. It was **not** about him! 

****

_He_ went to plenty of birthday parties! **In fact** , he has been to so many birthday parties, he might actually consider taking a break from **ever** going to birthday parties. 

****

“You know what, James, I’m actually thinking that Lily might have felt that you were going to disrupt the party…” - Sirius started. (Remus kicked him - it was spectacular.)

****

But disrupt a party? Him? James Potter would **never** disrupt a party! James Potter has **never** disrupted a party, and **never** will! 

****

“So I should show her that I wouldn’t disrupt a party, right?” - James asked, feeling how the plan was forming in his head. He would show her when he would dutifully and responsibly go through the detention...

****

“C’mon, Peter, we should get to Hagrid as soon as possible, I know how we can show ♡Lily Evans♡ you wouldn’t ever disrupt a party!” - James started pulling Peter with him. The guy was so slow, thank lord, he has James in his life to show him a way out of the mess he is doing!

****

He and Peter came first to Hagrid, Remus and Sirius loosing already.

****

“Hey, Hagrid,” - Hagrid is _so cool_. - “So what are we doing? C’mon, we need to get ahead of Sirius and Remus, can you imagine? They were invited to ♡Lily Evans’♡ birthday party, and Peter wasn’t!” 

****

“James wasn’t invited too!” - Peter suddenly squeaks.

****

“Yes, Peter, but that is only because I decided to take a break from birthday parties, _remember?_ ” - He looks at Peter. God, he is slow. - “I’m sure ♡Lily Evans♡ heard of it, and that’s why…” 

****

“Hold on, hold on,” - Goddamnit! Sirius and Remus came up to Hagrid’s. - “You decided to take a break from birthday parties?” - Sirius smiles.

****

Sirius is really good-looking, the light hits his face just right at the moment.

****

“You look quite good like that,” - James says. Sirius’ hair are a bit messy from the walk, which is probably why.

****

“Thank you,” - Sirius nods. - “Anyway, should I tell Lily that you are taking a break from birthday parties?”

****

“Why would you do it? ♡Lily Evans♡ probably knows of it, that’s why she didn’t bother inviting me- ” 

****

“So if Lily didn’t know of it, and she would come to me, and ask me to give an invitation to you, I should just tell her-”

****

“Alright!”- Hagrid claps. - “Remus told me how to counter-act the spell, so we will need to get to the lake, somehow get a hold of the squid, and piece-by-piece bring him his original colour.” 

****

It’s gonna be easy. Squid is cool like that.

****

“So did ♡Lily Evans♡ come to you and asked you to give me an invitation?” - James walks along with Sirius to the lake.

****

Sirius, **the pompous butt** , just smiles at him! That is it! Remus is his new bestest of bestest of friends, Sirius and his ridiculous good looks can go and live a good life! 

****

Somehow he and Sirius start kicking each other’s butts, and by the time they come to the lake, James feels sore.

****

“So we just need to do the exact same thing we did at night?” - asks Peter.

****

“Yes-“ - says James, exasperated. _Peter, honestly-_

****

“Not really, the counter-spell is harder and going to take some time, because it is going to cleanse only a small part, so that the spell would have to be repeated on every part…” - Moony is just so… thorough. _(he will not call his newest bestest of bestest of friends boring.)_

****

“It’s going to be fine,” - Sirius stretches the words. - “He seems like a cool guy, the squid.” 

****

Exactly, those are James’ words, exactly!

****

✮✮✮

****

**Sirius knows nothing about the stupid squid!** Who said the squid seemed like a cool guy? Sirius!

****

Well, Sirius is wrong! 

****

It has been hours! Hours! Since they came to the lake, but squid still had spots of pink on him! Stupid squid, stupid pink, stupid, stupid testicles that he has to hold while Remus is chanting some stupid spell-

****

Is that ♡Lily Evans♡??? She and Marlene sit near the lake, her hair competing with the sunset and all that poetry~.

****

“Hey, is that ♡Lily Evans♡ there?” - he asks Sirius, just to be sure.

****

“God, James, hold it still!” - Sirius falls down, crushed by the squid.

****

♡Lily Evans♡ and Marlene start laughing, and James laughs too.

****

That’s when the squid’s testicles that are freed from Sirius, capture James and send him flying. He falls five meters away from the squid, splashing into the water, girls’ laughter - intenser, waterlilies everywhere on him.

****

“Hey, Lily Waterlily Evans!” - he shouts.

****

“James,” - comes her reply. She is kind of still laughing. It is both cute and _humiliating_.

****

“So I heard you’re having a birthday party?” - he frees himself from the flowers, fixing his hair.

****

“Yeah, you’re invited!” - she says, still laughing.

****

**HA!**

****

James pumps the air.

****

“Oh, I know!” - he says back to her. And launches himself onto the squid, eager to get the detention over, he needs to speak to Sirius, and ask him where the party is going to be, what he should get for as a present…

****


	2. Creeping Flox

Fifth Year, September.

James Potter was very happy it was Lily who became the prefect. Perfect Lily being Prefect Lily. **Perfect!**

He had never had **ANY** problems whatsoever with that. He _might_ have had some problems with Remus being prefect. He _might_ have written few times to Mcgonagall, and then, when she informed him that the headmaster places the prefects, a couple more times to Dumbledore, with the letters that he _might_ have sparkled with glitter and stickers (he and Sirius have discovered these **✮✮✮glorious✮✮✮** invention of muggles this summer, and have been exchanging the letters so thoroughly covered in it, there were barely anything else) to further his points. Then he _might_ have gone up to Dumbledore’s office to give the presentation as to why Moony cannot be prefect. But he, _James Potter_ , can and should.

And James Potter will stand his ground - Dumbledore was pretty damn **impressed** , and probably regretted his decision now.

But no one had problems with Lily being prefect.

**Until now.**

“Lily **Creeping Flox** Evans!” - James Potter shrieked _manly_. 

“Is there actually a flower with that name?” - asked Sirius.

“Don’t even start,” - Remus mumbled. Apparently he was on patrol with Lily. _And he wouldn’t even think about **not** spying on his friends!_

“What were you two doing? In the **RESTRICTED** section?” - Lily said the word Restricted so slowly, she almost spelled it.

“Oh Goody!~~ I was not aware, were you, Sirius?” - James placed a hand on his head. - “Apparently we somehow dazzled up here.” 

“That’s not the right word to use, James,” - Lily sighs. She is _Intellectual_ like that. Not like Remus. But like James.

“Listen, Lily, we were just trying to do homework-“ - says Sirius. How Sirius is so cool with Lily? Like people can stay _suave_ and all that when they are near all those hair, and piercing green eyes…

“At night?” - And the way Lily raises her eyebrow, or crosses her hands on her chest…

“Listen, Lily, there is no need to be bragging about how much you are smarter than Sirius,” - starts James, and he does not do the happy dance inside when Lily looks back at him. Sirius slaps his shoulder for some reason. _**Sirius has always been unreasonable**_.

Lily sighs. _~Prettily~_.

“I’m going to report both of you, **AND** -” - she raises a finger on James. - “I’ll take ten points from each of you, and Remus and I will escort the two of you back to the Gryffindor tower.” 

_**Twenty points for walking during the night?!** _

“ _ **TWENTY POINTS FOR WALKING DURING THE NIGHT?!**_ ” - James says. 

Calmly.

That’s why Sirius and Remus both hiss at him to keep it quiet, because both of them are **unreasonable**.

“Yes,” - Lily is poised and all that, matching James’ _cool_. - “I’m glad you learnt how to count, James. And also for being in the Restricted Section.” 

_James knew how to count, alright?_ He **never** had to learn it! _Born and counting and all that_.

“ **That’s your own house you are taking points from!** ” - says James, poised and all that, so much calmer than Lily.

“James, **I swear** , go and try me, and keep arguing,” - snaps Lily, apparently unable to be quiet in the library.

James Potter is not scared. It is just… Lily is about to wake half the castle, so James would hate to be the person who would be responsible for Lily’s first detention.

“Do you know what I can’t believe in, Sirius?” - James starts when they all make their way back to the tower, Lily and Remus behind them. 

Is Lily afraid they are going to run away? _That happened only once_.

“I know. I can’t believe it too,” - Sirius nods. 

Sirius gets James.

“I know you wouldn’t believe that. I mean, you are a ✮good friend✮, are you not, Sirius?” 

“I am a ✮good friend✮,” - Sirius flashes a toothy smile back.

“But there are some people in the world, Sirius, that are not that good like you, you know?” - James looks back and sees Remus rolling his eyes.

“Oh, I do, James,” - Sirius looks wild when he smiles like that.

“Like, take you and me. We are ✮good friends✮. We go and do something to help out our friend-” - OUCH!

“ **OUCH!** ” - James turns to Remus. 

“You want to fight me, Moony? Is that it?” - James is dangerous and _wild_ , and he is genuinely surprised Sirius is not holding him back to that he wouldn’t hurt his beloved ( **HA!** Got it? _Beloved~_ ) Remus.

“Did you, **Remus John Lupin** kick me?” - James is  savage, and… _beastly_ , and… **DEADLY!**

“James, turn back, or I’ll take fifteen points more,” - Lily tells him.

Lily has saved Remus’ life. **Remus should probably know that.** But Lily looks like she is daring him to speak again.

And, well, Lily is the lady of his life, he will obey her. _And it is not because he is in any way scared_. He is a Gryffindor!

He is probably the jewel of all the Gryffindors, _✮✮✮the best chaser✮✮✮_ and all that.

Oh, hey!

“Hey, tomorrow are the trials for the team, please tell Marlene?” - James turns to Lily with his best puppy eyes. Marlene is kind of forgetful, he already told her few times, but, _just to be sure_. Last year, James was not able to control it like he should have and Marlene has forgotten about the trials. 

“Maybe I should pick her up for the trials…” - they have Potions as the last subject.. But from then it is about two hours of waiting…

Lily smiles. And James is no longer thirteen, he is **not** puppy-in-love for Evans no more, but his heart drops.

“I’ll tell her,” - promises Lily.

✮✮✮

James **STORMS** the Gryffindor tower the next day. 

“LILY EVANS!” - he starts. But then he sees Marlene.

“Oh, hey Marlene, the trials were moved an hour earlier, I think you should go the stadium now,” - James tells her, eyeing her clothes. She is already dressed in the quidditch uniform (James told her to wear that in the morning so that the third year wouldn’t be repeated).

“Oh, right, they told me, but I forgot!” - Marlene jumps from the couch. - “Thanks James!” 

“Yeah, no problem. Listen, you got the trials, okay? You’re the best seeker I’ve ever seen, so don’t even stress over them,” - James tells her. Marlene smiles at him, and runs away.

Now, he can focus on Evans.

“ **You reported me?!** ”

“Yes, just like _I told you_ I would-”

“You already took **THIRTY-FIVE** points from our house! And now I will also have to-”

“I took thirty-five points from you and Sirius for misbehaving! _That’s what the prefects have to do_ -” 

“I will have to be helping in the library for a **MONTH!** That’s a **month** without training with the team! Our-”

“Well, that’s what you get for snooping in the restricted section during the night!” 

“ _ **OUR FIRST MATCH IS AGAINST SLYTHERIN! DO YOU WANT US TO LOSE?**_ ” 

“ _JAMES, it is just a game!_ ” 

**AND THATS IT!** He will not stand there with Lily offending _quidditch_.

He storms back to the boys dorm, when Lily says: 

“Besides, James, you’re too good, training or no training.” 

James stands still, too many emotions inside him.

“I guess so,” - he says, _**dignified**_ , at last.


	3. Lily

First Year, September

1) James looks in the book for the instructions. (EXPLANATION - He and Remus are supposed to be making some potion.)

2) He looks at the instruction number seven. (EXPLANATION - James _♡likes♡_ number seven. He thinks it is better than other numbers, so he is going to do that instruction first… _uhh seventh?_ )

3) James Potter has a question popping up in his mind. (EXPLANATION - He swears he could hear the **POP!** )

4) James Potter thinks about the question. (EXPLANATION - The instruction number seven says to add some _lily_ juice to the potion.)

5) James Potter squirms in his seat, thinking about the answer. (EXPLANATION - uhhh… it is a bit hard to think in a way the book writes… _Why would the instructions be spelled in that way?_ )

6) James Potter goes through the book in front of him, going through all the flower names there. (EXPLANATION - he only has two left. He can do it.)

7) James Potter turns to his bestest friend Sirius Black and asks him the question. (EXPLANATION - “Pssst… **pss** … Sirius!.. Do you think Lily Evans’ middle name is a flower too?”)

“I don’t know,” - Sirius says so slowly, it is kind of _cool_. He smiles at James.

“I mean, _your_ first name is a star, right? And the middle name, too. I think if Lily has a flowery first name, her middle name should be flowery too, don’t you think?” - James learnt Sirius’ middle name just before the class. He thought it’s pretty _cool~_.

Remus elbows him, and so James forced to turn back, professor Slughorn passes them by.

“ _It could be Lily Rose Evans, huh?_ ” 

“Lily Marigold Evans,” - says Sirius.

“Lily Sunflower Evans,” - squeaks Peter.

“ _Uh no_ , Peter, not that one,” - James scrunches his nose.

“It’s _cheesy_ ,” - Sirius’s got his back. _Sirius always knows what to say_.

“Lily… uhh..” - James goes through the textbook, - “ **Hyacinth** Evans.” 

“Lily _Orchid_ Evans,” - Sirius says the name of his favourite flower.

“Lily **Snapdragon** Evans,” - whispers Remus.

**_Oh Wow!~_ **

“Is there a flower with that name?” - James asks **a bit** too loudly and everyone around him tell him to be quiet.

“Yeah, here in the book,” - Remus says, after he makes sure that Slughorn hadn’t heard them, at the other end of the class.

“Lily Agera-tum Hous-to-ni-u-a-num Evans,” - says James, finding a flower to top Remus’, dividing the hard words into syllabuses.

They all snicker, so James says that again, this time faster. _Lily Ageratum Houstoniuanum Evans_.

**_✮✮✮Flowers have so many names!✮✮✮_ **

“Lily _Pink Lady’s Slipper_ Evans,” - tells them Sirius, triumphant. **That** is the name ready for the win!

“Lily Black Eyes Susan Evans,” - pips Peter.

“Thats a _cool_ one,” - says James, and they all nod.

They go through all the names of the flowers they can find in the book, and _James has forgotten about the assignment!_

But thankfully, ✮Remus✮ is his partner, so when Slughorn passes them by again, they have something boiling, _unlike those lazy distracted **fools** Peter and Sirius_.

Lily _Who-Knows-Her-Middle-Name_ Evans with her _evilous_ friend from Slytherin apparently manage to **✮stunt✮** Slughorn, and he gushes over them, but as soon as the professor leaves to his table at the front, James asks:

“Hey Lily! What’s your name?” - unable to not know the answer any longer.

Her Slytherin _friend_ turns to him and rolls his eyes, and Lily looks at him weirdly too.

“It’s Lily,” - she says, **like he is stupid**.

“Your full name is Lily Lily Evans?!” - he asks. _Quietly_. So quiet he has to stand up to make Lily hear.

So quiet Slughorn comes up to him from his table and says: 

“James!” 

“Oh, sorry, professor!” - starts James. Professor Slughorn seems to like him, so he isn’t afraid. 

_Like he is afraid of Mcgonagall._

But he is a **✮✮✮Gryffindor✮✮✮**. _He shouldn’t be afraid_. Yeah… He is actually **NOT** afraid of Mcgonagall. 

_(Maybe a little? He should write to his mom to know if it’s okay that he is ✮Gryffindor✮ and he could be a little afraid of Professor Mcgonagall.)_

Oh, it seems like Professor Slughorn asked a question.

“I’m sorry, if you could repeat it?” - asks James _so politely_.

He sneaks a glance at Remus, hoping his friend would tell him the answer, but Professor Slughorn already sighs.

“I think, James, you will have to come to me after the classes to make the potion without your friend Remus here,” - _oh, alright. Doesn’t sound too bad_.

And then, he thinks that he will have to sit **all alone** with Professor Slughorn in that **stupid** dungeon, and it doesn’t seem to be something good either.

********

So he does what **_every_** person would do - he points to the empty cauldron of Peter and Sirius, and says _sweetly_ , 

********

“I think Sirius and Peter should come after the classes too, professor,” - and then he has to dodge from the squill that Sirius flies at him. 

********

****✮✮✮** **

********

So they continue with the talk of the flowers, and they find some cool ones, too. 

********

“Lily **Deathwish** Evans!” 

********

“Lily **Dragonfly** Evans!” 

********

“So like an insect?” 

********

“Oh. I thought it meant like dragon flying flower.”

********

“ _Hold on_ , you never knew about the Dragonflies?” 

********

It is amidst this very serious ( **HA!** _Because it is Sirius who doesn’t know the name… Yeah_ ) discussion that Professor Slughorn tells James: 

********

“You do know, young boy, that I do not judge you, not one bit,” - _and James doesn’t even **KNOW** what that’s about._

********

_Old people._

********

“Lily Evans is a pretty girl,” - _IS SHE?_ \- “I was young once too, and loved too, you know.” 

********

**SLUGHORN ACTUALLY WINKS AT JAMES**. 

********

Sirius and Peter are **_DYING_** of laughter. 

********

**IT IS THE _MOST_ EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF HIS _ENTIRE_ LIFE.**

********

He goes on to argue with Professor, all while **screaming** at Sirius that “ ** _HE IS NOT RED!_** ”, and kicking Peter under the table.

********

**HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH LILY LILY** _(by the way, really? her middle name is the same name as her first? that’s kind of original. and stupid)_ **EVANS!**

********


	4. Poison Ivy

Seventh Year, Halloween.

The music was loud, the food was good, Sirius went away to charm Remus’ pants off, Peter, **Thank God** , was clumsily dancing with Ella, Lily Evans waved him to join her near the food table.

It should have been a _✮great night✮_.

 _MAYBE IT WAS_.

James still hadn’t had time to decide which it is.

He stood next to Lily, but kept his eyes on the dance floor.

“So, your costume?” - James aimed at nonchalance, but _probably_ missed it by a couple of miles. 

“Poison Ivy,” - told him Lily.

“Like a flower? Lily, is it a code for me? You want to tell me your full name is Lily Poison Ivy Evans?” - he looks at her, which is probably a mistake.

Lily Evans looks **✮✮✮STUNNING✮✮✮**. There is a green make up on her, her red hair is _moving_ from some magical leaves that seem to let out a smell of flowers. 

_Maybe it is Lily’s normal smell._

And her costume… His pants are too tight, so he _can't_ think too much about the costume.

“Yes, James, that is the name my parents gave me - Lily Poison Ivy,” - she laughs.

 _Her laughter…_ Ah, **fuck** , her laugher!

They are friends now, he should say something _~funny~_ back, and not think about her laughter and how it makes him feel.

While he stands there, mouth opening and closing, **LIKE HE IS SOME STUPID BRAINLESS FISH** , trying to think what to say, Lily says:

“Do you want to dance?” 

JAMES CAN’T DANCE!

He suddenly wishes he could transgress right there, on the spot.

**REPEAT: JAMES CAN’T DANCE!**

_Shitshitshitshit_ , maybe he should agree and then pretend his leg has had a seizure, maybe shoot his leg with a spell, so that it would have seizure, maybe use a spell to get the legs away _completely_???? **WHAT SHOULD HE DO?**

“James legs don’t have seizures,” - tells him Lily.

**Oh fuck.**

James kind of wants to cry. 

_(James really shouldn’t be speaking in third voice about himself.)_

Lily looks at him funnily. Like, she’s laughing at him, _that’s nothing new_ , but also she does it kindly?

_Not that she was ever unkind to him, but…_

“Hey do you want to get out of here?”

Does he, James Potter want to get out of here with Lily Poison Ivy Evans?

“Yes,” - he hopes it doesn’t sound too _desperate_.

It probably does.

 _Oh, well_.

Because guess who walks out to the empty corridor with the most beautiful girl in Hogwarts?

He, _for some reasons_ , asks that question of Lily.

She looks at him, smiling **(!!!)** , and then does something that he doesn’t… fuck, _words_ … how to.

Lily Evans lifts up her hands, and places them on James’ hair, turns him around, and… and… **AND!!!!** (if it’s a fucking dream, he will SUE THE WORLD) _she kisses him_.

He groans, because Lily is so **_passionate_** , _she pushes him to the wall_ , and FUCK!, he shouldn’t waste the time - he gets his hands all over Lily’s costume, she pins him with her body, they are touching **_everywhere_**. It’s so many sensations at once - hot mouth of Lily, her body right against his _growing_ erection, she does some little moaning sounds - _AND EVERYTHING DRIVES JAMES CRAZY_.

And it is the _♡♡♡best thing in the world♡♡♡_ , and who knows how much time passes, but they keep kissing, and _kissing_ and **_kissing_** …

Oh, fuck, it is so _goodgoodgood_ , he becomes aware of some animal-like noises before he realises that they are coming from _him_.

Someone comes by them, and they probably have said something, because Lily moves away from him.

“ _Nonono_ , please, no. More kisses,” - he demands. He opens his eyes _(when did he close them?)_ and looks at Lily with his best pouting face.

She looks at him, so strangely _fond_.

But she still hasn’t continued kissing him.

“More kisses, please,” - he says again.

She smiles, shaking her head a little.

“I do like it when you are polite,” - and she comes back, and kisses him MORE!

And more, and _more_ , and **_more_** , and **_more!_**

James gets _lightheaded_ , disoriented, lost in time, _he comes in his pants_ , but he and Lily just laugh it off, and he isn’t even embarrassed. And then they go back to the Gryffindor tower, and they kiss some more, and _more_ , and so _much more_ …

In Gryffindor tower they kiss some more, and James looks longingly at the couch, the tower is empty, they could… 

But Lily goes up to the girl’s room, and still they do not separate, James just tugs Lily back whenever she tries to go, and she comes back to him, _as if somehow helpless against HIM!_

So they kiss some more, all while hugging, and Lily has her hands over James, and James touches Lily everywhere, until the first students start coming back from the Halloween celebration, and only then Lily goes up, leaving James panting heavily down the stairs, leaning on the wall, because there’s no way that his legs are functioning right now.

He goes out of the tower, barely walking like he’s drunk.

_Oh, he is drunk!_

The realisation settles _slowly_.

_HE KISSED LILY EVANS!_

then, **ALL AT ONCE**.

“I KISSED LILY EVANS!” - he screams! Pumps the air, and **JUMPS!** and then RUNS and **_RUNS!_**

All while screaming.

It is Mcgonagall who stops him:

“James Potter! What is the reason of such behaviour? Are you not the headboy of this school?” - she looks furious, and usually he’d be afraid, but not today.

“Oh, hello, professor!” - he actually wants to **hug** Mcgonagall. 

_Did he ever hug her?_

_Maybe at the end of the first year._

“James Potter, are you drunk?” - she looks over him, suspicious.

Why, professor, he **IS** drunk!

Ok, maybe he shouldn’t have said that, because Mcgonagall looks at him, even more stern than before.

“I have to tell you that from tomorrow I will be expecting you right after the classes for your detention,” - she says slowly.

“Oh, but professor… I kissed Lily Evans!” - he shakes with this _thought_ , with the _memories_.

And Professor Mcgonagall smiles!…? Or maybe not. Her face becomes her usual mask in just a moment, so maybe it is James’ brain playing tricks on him.

“Well, I think I can forgive a bit of a wild behaviour on a Halloween night. It is the night to make the demons run, is it not,” - _hold on, did she just?_

“There is no detention, Mister Potter, please enjoy your evening,” - she tells him, probably knowing that he didn’t understand her.

Now that’s the first. He just got out of detention? Did he not?

But MORE IMPORTANTLY - **_JAMES POTTER KISSED LILY POISON IVY EVANS!_**


	5. Narcissa

Second Year, April.

“ **Narcissa Black** is your cousin?” 

“James, they have same last names,” - Remus sighed. _Remus who is a werewolf_. Is Remus more tired because of his transitions and that why he seems so tired? _Because he’s a werewolf_. 

(“ ** _Well_** , it’s not a Pettigrew, is it? Pretty common last name,” - Sirius. “Not in wizarding world. Most noble and ancient, isn’t it? _So a pure-blood wizard with the last name of Black..._ ”, “How would **_James_** know she’s pure-blood?”, “Oh, James knows that **Narcissa Black** is pure-blood, the whole school knows”, “ _Please_ , Remus, **_James_** wouldn’t know”...) 

“Yeah, but I’m not close to her. My family is not very happy with me being Gryffindor, you know?” - Sirius said, as he waved at his cousin.

Who is the most popular girl in school. **Narcissa Black** is beautiful, who’s been dating that **pompous** Lucius, who was most popular boy in school before he graduated. But more importantly - **Narcissa Black** is a _~prefect~_.

“So can she take us to the _~prefect’s~_ bathroom?” - James stops the bicker that Sirius and Remus go in. (“Why are you waving at her if you’re not close?” “ ** _Remus_** , she’s my cousin.” “So you actually have good relationship with her?” “ _Ugh_ , no… I only like Andromeda out of my cousins, she’s the oldest, _you don’t know her_. But Cissa writes to my parents instead of me.” “ _Cissa_? Really? You call **Narcissa Black** \- _Cissa_?”, “Yeah?.. I mean the whole family calls her like that, _even Regulus_.”)

“Ok, so my ✮dad✮ told all about that bathroom, it’s huge, it has so many types of water, and there all types of colours, and it sprinkles✮✮✮, and the foam comes, and smell….” - James tries to think what his father said. - “✮✮✮It’s GREAT!✮✮✮ We should go there.” 

“I’m pretty sure prefects aren’t allowed to bring guests there. And it’s hidden. Why would **Narcissa Black** help us?” - says Remus. _Who is a werewolf_.

(“So, hold on, isn’t **Narcissa Black** the sister of that Bellatrix?”, “And you were making fun of James?… Bellatrix _Black_ , Remus, _how could you miss it?_ ”, “I never even thought of her! She graduated a year before we even came here… _Must be tough to be her cousin?_ ”, “Well, out of all three cousins, she’s my least favourite.”)  
**

 **Narcissa Black** helps them get into the prefects’ bathroom.

“ **Only once** , Sirius, okay?” - she says before she leaves them there.

They all nod _solemnely. Is that a word?_ Well, very seriously. (James really can’t use the word “serious” ~~hehe~~ seriously). 

**Narcissa Black** is really _cool_. And so beautiful.

It’s a real shame she is a Slytherin. _And old_.

But soon enough they have the time of their lives in that bathroom. **_IT IS GREAT!_** Just like ✮dad✮ said.

They splash and woosh, and swim and make the rainbows with the water magic. 

**_They have to come here again!_ **

**

They come there again late at night. _Well, not all of them._

“Remus is kind of a scaredy cat,” - notes James as they walk through the castle in the dark, trying to be quiet. Filch and that Mrs. Norris are too silent. They can jump on them from any corner. James sometimes looks over the map that his mom has given him before his first year. Castle is too big, and they can’t afford to get lost.

_It would be nice if map has showed where Filch and Mrs. Norris are._

“Maybe Remus is even a scaredy wolf,” - pips Peter.

 **Hey!** It’s not bad.

James high-fives Peter.

“Nice one, Scrabbles.”

“I really hope Cissa isn’t going to know of it,” - Sirius says. Huh? It’s funny to see Sirius loosing his _cool_.

“Why? Is she scary?” - _Ugh_ … James thinks he got lost… Mom’s map is so confusing.

“Well, I don’t know really… In the childhood she would just scary me with **Bellatrix**.” 

Bellatrix must be really scary.

James wonders if she’s beautiful.

It seems like the house of Black should not only be most noble and old, but beautiful.

Oh! Actually, James recognises the hallway, after Sirius makes him turn.

**He found the way!**

_Wait a second!_ Is that…?

“Lily Narcissa Evans! What are you doing here that late at night?” - James starts with his best dad impression.

“I was asked by **_~✮the prefect of this school✮~_** to patrol this corridor in case if you decide to come,” - Lily looks smug. _Wasn’t she scared to be here all alone, in the dark, at night?_ Well, she’s a ✮Gryffindor✮.

“ **Narcissa Black** made you, a second-year student, patrol this door?” - James sounds prude like Remus. _Who is a werewolf_ , but he, James, isn’t.

“Yes,” - says Lily loud and proud, while Sirius mutters: _“Typical Cissa.”_

“ **She** told me that boys from my house and year are going to come here, and asked me to patrol. **She** said she’d give me house points for help.” 

“You do know that she isn’t allowed to do it?” - James can’t care less about the rules, but why would good girl Lily go against them?

“ **She’s a prefect** and she asked me to help,” - Lily does realise that it is still against the rules?

“ **She** told me to tell you to go back to the tower. And if you ever try to come to this bathroom again, **she** will make aunt ummm… _Valburga?_ write screamers to all of you, and to your parents.” 

James remembers the first screamer that Sirius received, when he got sorted in ✮Gryffindor✮. And the later ones, too. He and Sirius were running out the Great Hall as fast as they could, so that other people wouldn’t hear it.

They go back to Gryffindor tower.

“ **Narcissa Black** is kind of scary,” - James whispers to Peter, and he nods back, while Sirius and Lily talk about some great hair routine, or something in front of them. James, unlike the two of them, has great hair, in no need of magic spells or muggly things that Lily advises Sirius to start using. James ruffles his hair. _Yeah_. **Best hair in school.**


	6. Lupin

Fourth Year, February.

“Hey, James,” - Sirius whispers to him, as they climb on the roof of the Astronomy Tower. _Well_ , whispers is a relative concept (Remus explained to him some rules of this muggly thing called **_physics_**. Really neat, a lot like transfiguration, which James _♡loves♡_ ). The cold wind of February is chilling to bone, and is noisy, so maybe Sirius is screaming to get through. James hears it as the whisper.

“Yeah, Padfoot?” - James screams back. Then screams a bit louder, because apparently it is hard to win against wind. 

**_Ugh, fight me, wind,_** James says out loud, and the next sweep of the wind has him taking the words back. It’s kind of like fighting Whomping Willow or Squid. _It is better not to._

“So, like, what would you think if I, well…” - James thinks that Sirius says something like that. It is probably wind that has eaten half of the words of Sirius. Because Sirius never speaks like that. Like he is _insecure_ , or something. _What?_ It sounds ridiculous even in his head, _insecure Sirius_. Yeah, it’s just stupid wind that makes his bestest friend sound so lame. **_Uhh_** , James doesn’t like using Sirius and word lame in one sentence. Wind makes Sirius sound so _un-cool_.

James finally gets to the middle of the tower, and **HOLY COW, the wind here is no joke!** , and gives out a hand for Sirius to help him out.

“You were saying?” - the roof is slightly tilted, so if they are to go with their plan, and don’t succeed, they might die. _Well, ABBA are worth it._

But, first, something that Sirius wanted to tell James.

“Yeah, umm, what if…” - James can see the words coming out, otherwise he wouldn’t believe it. _Sirius is… behaving un-coolly._

Another whistling swipe of wind almost has them flying, but they manage to save their lives by holding tight to each other. It is easier to hear each other when they’re hugging, so James doesn’t let go. And, **_maybe_** , also because he likes hugging Sirius, firstly his hair always smells nice, secondly, because James sometimes think that Sirius’ family don’t give enough hugs, and he feels sad for his friend and his terrible family.

“Yeah?”

“So I might like Remus. Like… umm I might be gay?…” - Oh, James didn’t suspect that.

But then he remembers how Sirius always listens to Remus, and how he always wants to talk to Remus, and how he teases Remus.

**YES! _James totally suspected that!_**

“Oh, cool?” - James wonders if Remus like Sirius in that way. - “Do you think Remus likes you back?” 

“Umm?... I don’t know... I never thought of it… in that way.. Why? what do you think? Hold on… that’s not.. You’re ok with it? Like nothing’s going to change, right?”

“Well, I think some thing will change if Remus likes you back, don’t you?” - James thinks that Sirius will probably be spending more nights in Remus’ bed now. What will James do? Sirius was protecting him from the monsters in the dark…

“No… What? That’s not what I-, James, ummm…” - Sirius keeps stuttering. It is probably important moment for him. James should behave. But then he thinks that important moments need to be celebrated, and the concert of ABBA is going to be one hell of a celebration.

“You know what? We should totally go to ABBA’s concert and like celebrate that you’re gay,” - James wonders for a second if he’s insensitive, but Sirius hugs him closer and nods into his neck. - “If it works, we could like go to the gay parades, I heard of them before, they are so **✮✮colourful✮✮** , it’s _cool_ , would you like it? Oh, and there are gay-bars, aren’t there? We’re probably too young for those… Ugh. And do you think we should create some plan with you and Remus getting together?” - that’d be interesting. Stage 1 - Learn if Remus likes boys. Stage 2 - …

“No, hold on, James, no one can know, okay? You’re the only one who knows, and don’t tell to another soul, and **especially** Remus.” 

“Oh, alright.” 

“We should probably try to jump, while hugging and then transgress, don’t you agree?” - James says after a moment. Maybe after a very short moment. Extremely short. _But it was there._

“Alright,” - Sirius clutches him harder, and James wonders if they will manage to land, should their plan not work…

But they jump! And James thinks very hard of ABBA’s concert! AND! **SUCCESS!**

✮✮✮They are not in school no more!✮✮✮

 **HA!** Take that Moony and Scrabbles!

_No, James, it doesn’t make sense. **No** , James, even if you manage to jump from the tallest tower, Hogwarts anti-transgression laws would still work, because they surround the castle…_

_**Well, it’s their loss.** _

Because the concert is **✮✮✮AMAZING!✮✮✮** They sing, and dance, and shout-out to some elder man, who looks a lot like Dumbledore, killing it with his dancing. It is the ✮funnest night✮ in James and Sirius’ life, they both agree at the end of it, ready to transgress to Hogsmeade.

Only, when they transgress back, they appear in McGonagall’s cabinet. And she’s there, awaiting them.

“ **Have you two lost your minds?!** Transgressing away from school, not mentioning that none of you passed the transgressing exam! Do you even understand everything that could have happened?” - and then she goes and goes and goes. It is the first time James sees McGonagall being that angry.

On the way back to their tower, after they lost ALL house points _(Mcgonagall took exactly three-hundred twenty-six)_ , after she has told them what their punishment will be - helping madame Sprout with the sleezy womps _(fiery, dirty bastards those are)_ which will last approximately forever _(Mcgonagall has told them she will expect them coming back to Hogwarts after their graduation to do go through their detention)_ , _still worth it!_ , they discuss if Moony and Scrabbles really ratted them out to Mcgonagall.

It is early in the morning (they’ve spent half the night at the concert, half the night being screamed at), and they meet Remus in the Great Hall, and go up to him, shoulder-by-shoulder.

“Was it you, Remus Hippogriff Lupin, who told to Mcgonagall?-” - starts James, because Sirius never gets that mad at Remus, _now James can see why_ , but it is Lily who interrupts them.

“It was me, actually.”

** “WHAT?” **

“Alice has asked me to patrol instead of her,” - Lily is so _annoyingly_ proud, like she’s _twelve_ again, asked by a ~prefect~ to patrol. - “And I noticed that you two were missing, which **always** means trouble, so I grilled Remus, and then told everything to Dumbledore.” 

Ugh! She is so annoying! _and also beautiful_. It is hard for James to be mad at Remus, because he knows what it’s like to be grilled by Evans. **God damn it!**

“ **LILY LUPIN EVANS!** ” - James screams, and when Lily raises an eyebrow, waiting what he has to say, James sits down and starts eating scrabbled eggs. _He’ll need a lot of energy to go through the day._

But he pumps Sirius, and tells him:

“It was all worth it, huh?” 

And Sirius turns to him, his face all splitting up because of the biggest smile ever and says:

“Totally.”

“God, Sirius, you could at least try to hide what a fan of James you are,” - Remus bites.


	7. Forget Me Not

Sixth Year, June.

“It’s just so **god-damningly** unfair, isn’t it, Lils?” 

_Yes_ , James was _**absolutely alright**_ , for anyone who’s interested. _Like Lily_. Because she is his  only friend who was interested about his feelings. No one else in this whole **god-forgotten** world was interested about James’ feelings. 

_Yes_ , loosing the annual prank war was **no big deal**.

“I mean, like I plan this, right? When did I start planning this?” - James thinks it was cold, so maybe…

“November.”

 _Oh yeah, right._

“I mean I got you making this brew for me,” - the body-changing brew. _~Hard potion~_. James was actually really afraid to come up to Evans to ask her to make it.

Because Evans was mad at him. Maybe he even deserved it. A shadow of the past guilt washed over him. The whole thing with Snape and his underpants was out of control. And then, everything that has happened with Sirius, Snape and the Whomping Willow this year. It really wasn’t Sirius’ fault, James thought. Sirius’ parents were especially terrible with the whole war starting…

James shook his head. _Too many things at once._

“So. I mean, I stole **✮Dumbledore’s hair!✮** **✮✮✮THE GREATEST WIZARD IN THE WORLD!✮✮✮** **I transformed to be him!** I told all the students that a very special lesson will be held in the Highly Discouraged Forrest. _Oh, well, now it’s called Forbidden Forrest, I guess…_ I’m changing the structure of this school! **I threw a tea party with giant spiders and a very random stag who high-fived every student!** **_And what did those lazy fools do?!_** ” - _James wasn’t even going to say what they did_.

“They coloured your hair pink,” - Lily said, distractedly. She was drawing him. _James didn’t know what to think of that_. She probably did it because of his hair. He wasn’t going to think anything about it. Because then he would be _agitated_. Then he would ask or do something stupid. And then Lily would leave. And she was the only person who came visiting him in his detention. _(Apparently, it was bad to be turning into your headmaster)_. And today was the last day of his detention. Because it was the last day of school.

And, _well_. James was afraid of seeing Lily go. They became really good friends this year. 

James was afraid that it would all evaporate over the summer. Snivellus lived near Lily, they would make up, and Snape would yet again be Lily’s best friend, and James would be forgotten. _James really didn’t want that to happen._

James shook his head again. His thoughts became really distracted lately. Or, well, maybe it was because of what Sirius said. Sirius knew so much about muggles. Apparently, muggles thought distracted thoughts were an illness. Or, _as Sirius said_ , a sign of illness. 

Some gibberish illness. His thoughts were always distracted. It was normal. A sign of ✮greatness✮ even maybe. James was like **✮the best✮** at transformation. And quidditch, and stuff.

But Sirius said if James was to take pills, he would feel better. 

He already feels good!

“James?” - Lily looked up at him.

“Do you think it’s true? What Sirius said about that thing and me?”

It’s not like his heart was hammering inside as he waited for Lily’s answer.

“I don’t know. If you want, you can do a check up. I know a clinic,” - Lily shrugged.

_Did she just?_

“Are you inviting me to spend time with you this summer?”

She laughed. It was beautiful.

“I thought it was implied. Sirius and I have our monthly meetings, you know. The _~“Society of Wizards and Witches with the Hair as Beautiful as the Life Itself”~_ comes with eternal membership. And since Padfoot is living with you now, we’ll have to set up an office in your house.”

“I think, I deserve the membership since I am providing the shelter for your club.”

 _ **Three years**_ and he still hasn’t gotten in.

Lily raised her eyebrows as she nodded at James’ hair.

“Not with that _mop hair_ , Potter, I don’t think so.”

“ **MY HAIR IS GREAT!** ”

They both turned when they heard the door opening. 

“They are a disaster, Potter,” - Sirius lazily made the way towards them with Remus and Peter close behind. The crown on Sirius’ head looked great.

He wasn’t talking to the Marauders. Ever again.

“Mcgonagall told us that your detention is over. And we should hurry, train is almost here,” - that was the voice of once-a-friend-turned-a-traitor Remus. 

“We packed your things, James,” - piped Peter. He was a **traitor** , too.

 **All three of them just united this year and turned his hair pink! _That was it!_** That’s all they had prepared for the annual prank war. James could forgive the betrayal and turn away from him. **BUT!** **_The betrayal of an ✮✮✮ANNUAL PRANK WAR✮✮✮?_** Of the ~spirit~? And **!!!joy!!!**? And the dedication needed to provide good laugh, and a great prank? _James could forgive betrayal. But he couldn’t forgive laziness._

“Aw, c’mon James,” - Sirius has tried to hug him. 

**Nope!** His only friend, the only ~loyal comrande~ was Evans!

_Who was leaving?…_

“Gotta go. Remus, you remember, we have to report to Mcgonagall before the train leaves,” - and then they would patrol and then they would come to the King's Cross, and then Lily would leave, and they would have to wait the whole summer to pass before they meet again… Their last year was approaching, and soon enough _he would never see Lily again_.

“See you all in the train,” - Lily waved at them, as she and Remus made their way out of the cabinet.

“Hey, **Lily Forget-Me-Not Evans!** ” - James said, before she left through the door and out of James’ sight and life forever. Lily stopped and looked at him, expectantly. Her hair caught the golden sun in them, they were tangled, she was here, so beautiful, impatient to get out and get on to her favorite prefect’s duties, her clothes a bit disheveled, and she was smiling at James.

“Forget me not?” - James said at last. And then Lily smiled and then she was gone.

Sirius placed something heavy on his head.

“You know what, Prongs? The crown looks better on your mess of a mop you call hair.”

“ **MY HAIR IS GREAT!** ”

**Author's Note:**

> You all know that I lovelovelove getting kudos and comments, so if you could stick there :)


End file.
